Slowhand Slaughter - Get together tourny recap

**Slowhand** · Joined: 21 Sep 2006 Posts: 625 Location: Lombard, Illinois

7-3-08 Happy 4th everybody. Since it's the day before a holiday and nobody in the working world actually gets crap done today, I'll finish the tourny recap...........

11 players so Slowhand's name goes into the draw twice. First unlucky Slowhand partner is........Ta Da Popemobile. I swear he almost started crying. Cliff got paired with his friend John. OmicronPaul paired with the chick voice Ross guy. Ed and Menzer next, Squish got Joe tonsoletters. Right away I'm thinking that is the team to beat. Good gitar, good drums, no Slowhand, what could go wrong. Which left the final team of Kev and Slowhand. Kev didn't cry. He was wasted on tequilla.

So we start with random songs picked by the game, eliminating anything that was too lame. Double elimination.

Round 1
Cliff/John vs Pope/Slow - Can't let Go.
Slowhand strategizes I suck so we go Bass/drum for a big victory. Pope plays in barefeet (remind me to bleach that pedal)
Paul/Ross vs Ed/Menzer - Gimme Shelter
Way Friggin close. P/R victory by 14K
Squish/Joe vs Slow/Kev - Sex Type Thing
Slowhand secretly grins cause they didn't get Afterlife.
Gitar/drum both teams. Another close one but Slow/Kev win by 13K.

Round 2
Cliff/John had to leave for Beyonce's party. You know how Bitchy she can get if even one of her posse is late LOL. So.... Slow/Kev got the bye into the next round by coin flip.
Ed/Menz vs Squish/Joe - Something about You.
Ugh double sightread for E/M spelled doom. That and Joe don't miss hardly anything, bastard. S/J by alot.
Which means they get to play Kev/Slow - Don't fear the reaper.
Gitar/drum combos, Slow can actually play DFTR well, Kev plays perc. what could go wrong? Oh maybe me and Kev shouldn't have done those rapid fire 8 shots of tequilla before we played. That musta been the reason Squish JOe won by about 30K

Round 3
Brackets redrawn. Semifinals. Still random song. You could sense guys got a little more serious. Except Slowhand he was looking for his beer.
Paul/Ross vs Pope/Slow BTW Pope's agent informed me that contractually His name has to appear first on the Promotional Posters LOL.
Orange Crush. And a strategic error. P/S go bass/drum, P/R go Guitar/Vox. OC chorus is a m*therf*cker to sing yet Ross did OK. But the slaughter of points in the drums was just down right ugly. Don't look kids it wasn't pretty. Pope/Slow stay undefeated.

J/S vs P/R - Welcome Home OK Ross is wearing a Coheed shirt. He's happy with the song draw. P/R guitar/bass. J/S gitar/drum. Damn looks like ya need a drummer in this tourny. Sorry P/R it's your second loss.
Pope/Slow vs Kev/Slow - I wanted to remove the Slowhand factor and let the brothers battle it out so they chose Tom Sawyer. Which I've gotten 99.9% vox nearly everytime I've sang it. Except tonight. I think I burped my way to two 96%'s in an embarassing fluborama. But at least I sucked equally for both. Timing, Slowhand suckage, Pope can't be beat, won't be beat. Popemobile/Slowhand move into the finals against Joe/Squish

THE FINALS. Lights go down, the pyrotechnics are blasting away, the scantily clad dancing girls shake their thing as the teams are lowered on platforms to the main floor and the crowd goes wild. Nah actually we flipped coins and guitar picks for who goes first and what songs. P/S no loses. S/J 1 loss. S/J need to win towo in arow. During the coin flip, Pope distract Joe and I drug his soda with Slowhand suckage powder. The fix is in.

WON'T GET FOOLED AGAIN. Oh if only Joe realized the irony of that song choice. If we needed song 2, it woulda been Green Grass.
Guitar Drums. Joe has me on Guitar, but that song ain't too bad and I hold my own mostly. But it's not a power song for Squish on drums, Pope senses fear and weakness, crouches slightly, and leaps onto the jugular, spewing blood and marrow in a drum stick fury flying fury of flying fury death rage furyness. And as the smoke clears and the bodies are piled in the corner..................Popemobile and Slowhand have won the first ever Slowhand Slaughter. And you were there gentle reader.

So Pope grabs the G3 DVD, good choice, Satriani, Petrucci and Vai FTW. Leaving me with the Coheed DVD I already had. So we do a raffle, the Lovely Angie draws Menzer's name as the Coheed winner.

Meanwhile Xbox hooked up on stage two, alot more playing and pizzas and I could go on but you get the idea. All in all I counted 1,213,786 buttons presses and drum hits over the course of the evening.

ONCE AGAIN THANKS FOR COMING TO MY HOUSE AND PLAYING VIDEO GAMES. MY MOM SAID WE COULD DO IT AGAIN IN A COUPLE OF MONTHES!!!!!!!! I will upload some pics but not in the OP here.

6-27-08

That was a good time.
Ze participants in order of arrival

Rosstopher and Squish and an outspoken Mom. Who went shopping.
Cliff and John.
Kev and Pope
Omicron and his wife Angela
Joe tons o letters
EdS25
Menzer and a TV (televison)(not a tranvestite)(not that there's anything wrong with that)

SO...... As ususal SLowhand is behind schedule to start. T-shirt shop 2 blocks away, there for over 10 years, custom Slowhand Slaughter T-shirt for the winner. Kharma says no. Out of business. Alright last minute trip to Best Buy. On way back, stop at Jimmy Johns to get sub platter. CLOSED FOR REMODELING. Wtf is goin' on. My town has 2 JJ's so call the other one.... They don't have enough bread for the platter AND their walk ins. Bite me JJ's. Third call was the charm and they deliver. Phew.

So Ross and Squish show an hour early, no big whoop, but I'm lookin Grodie as I assure MOM I only "look" like a knife murderer and really won't murder her kids. She's such a douchebag LOL. (kidding

)
We play RB. I run into the shower, Cliff and Beyonce arrive. OK not Beyonce, a good guy named John (total John count 3 at this point) who also lives in Lombard. We play some RB. We know we must get drums in now, Pope is coming and he haz stik. I show Cliff my real gitar. He says it looks like a Prince gitar. No f*ckin way man, it's a soon to be vintage Ibanez Iceman, totally Kiss and Paul Stanley. Noob. We play RB.

Kev and Pope arrive to a presidential marching band and....... nah they just came over. Time it took for Pope to call "I got drums" = 42.6 seconds. Kev the "polite" one, grabs the tequilla bottle and starts chugging.
We switch out drum set, they didn't like the Block head pads, I guess, and play RB. This continued for awhile. Other folks arrive, we watch numerous versions of Thrasher, Afterlife and anything else with gitar crap Slowhand would fail. Ross sings like a girl, Kev is onto his second bottle of tequilla. Paul shows with his lovely wife Angie Baby and Cliff puts his pants back on. Angie becomes invaluable later in the story.

Joe tons o letters arrives with a sh*t eating grin on his face, he has a custom disc and he's not afraid to use it. The rest of the players get there, full house by around 6. Menzer lugs in a TV and they hook up the PS2 mod and the second stage is born. As more speed metal million note persecond customs get played, more if not all eyes glued to the PFO custom charts. The clearest sign of chart/note addicts. Food and soda. Jay finally prys the tequilla bottle from Kev whos jumping on my furniture yelling I am the Lizard King.

Angie helps draw the random pulled 2 man RB teams for the tourny. I annouce the prize of a Coheed DVD. Ang goes, so the winners will fight for the DVD? Slowhand thinks........ oh yeah I'm stoopid. So my GH tourny prize of a G3 DVD is paired with the Coheed. No fight to the death, only plastic button pushing.

And I'll pause here until I get my bracket sheet in front of me. Next week I'll add some pics.
_________________

goals = mediocrity + 1 on all levels
*goal achieved!*
Guitarist for Heaven's Wrath
Vocal Stylings for Throat Punch
PSN - jaypen123
GH3 and RB community - Slowhand123

**J053PHTH3GR34T** · Joined: 28 Nov 2007 Posts: 547 Location: eating your soul

put me and brian on the possible list.
im definately gonna try. just keeeeep us all posted

sounds gooood

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http://www.youtube.com/user/J053PHGHvideo

**Cliff** · Joined: 06 May 2006 Posts: 3002 Location: Springfield, IL

Those dates all work equally well for me, Slowhand. I'll see you on one of them.

EDIT
Also: Rock Band, freeplay, and pizza. And pizza. And more pizza.
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Alakaiser wrote:

I will eat your fucking children.

**OmicronPersei8** · Joined: 01 Apr 2007 Posts: 42 Location: McHenry, IL

Sent PM.

Count me in.
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XBL GT: LrrrofOmicron

**Menzer** · Joined: 28 Mar 2007 Posts: 715 Location: Chicago, IL

Works for me, I'll mark my calendar.
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GH:WT Wii: Menzer (Guitar; Expert)
Friend Code - 403 891 900 471

**Cliff** · Joined: 06 May 2006 Posts: 3002 Location: Springfield, IL

Looking good. I told my friend (not Beyonce

) about the shindig, and he's up for it, so that's good. His girlfriend may or may not be in town, and therefore in tow, so I'll try to talk her out of being there. Too much rock, etc. etc.
_________________

Alakaiser wrote:

I will eat your fucking children.

**Slowhand** · Joined: 21 Sep 2006 Posts: 625 Location: Lombard, Illinois

It doesn't have to be Heman Woman Haters Club but that is a good Extreme song. LOL. And actually if all goes right, there will be 2 rock chicks there. We will have to patronize Sharon on the drum kit (OH you survived medium yeah)

But the high notes in Boston doesn't hurt her.

Another question then -

Me = PS3
if everyone else is more comfortable with the Xbox 360, I suppose it might be a good idea if someone brought their system, we play off line etc. Up to you guys.

Also, haven't tried this yet, maybe I should. If you hook up 2 drum kits, can you duel offline? If so and a drumming tourny is in the mix, someone might bring a second kit.

And if someone has a fair way of handicapping any tourny, I'm all ears. Prizes announced at a later date.

_________________

goals = mediocrity + 1 on all levels
*goal achieved!*
Guitarist for Heaven's Wrath
Vocal Stylings for Throat Punch
PSN - jaypen123
GH3 and RB community - Slowhand123

**Cliff** · Joined: 06 May 2006 Posts: 3002 Location: Springfield, IL

**Slowhand** · Joined: 21 Sep 2006 Posts: 625 Location: Lombard, Illinois

For 360 I'm guessing internets is a no. I don't have a Xbox account or whatever it is. PSN is free like the wind. Sew Old woman, sew like the wind! What movie? Extra credit.

But GH3 and RB online. I'm guessing every plastic slot will be filled. Of course, there could always be a duel with someone on my friend list, who won['t know it's not me kicking there ass, which I could have alot of fun with

Give me time to get the "sting" going and get the odds high enough so when they lose those bets........... I'll handle the set up part by losing often.

And you also can't spell it without Slug Her. But we don't hit women around here. Unless they don't shut the f*ck up.

_________________

goals = mediocrity + 1 on all levels
*goal achieved!*
Guitarist for Heaven's Wrath
Vocal Stylings for Throat Punch
PSN - jaypen123
GH3 and RB community - Slowhand123

**Cliff** · Joined: 06 May 2006 Posts: 3002 Location: Springfield, IL

Are we hustling online players now?

"Expert, huh? Well, I usually play on medium, but I 4*d Blitzkrieg Bop on hard the other day, so just know that I'm not that good..."

(one all-expert-full-band-full-combo later...)

"Man, I sure got lucky there. I didn't think I could hit ALL THOSE NOTES..."
_________________

Alakaiser wrote:

I will eat your fucking children.

**J053PHTH3GR34T** · Joined: 28 Nov 2007 Posts: 547 Location: eating your soul

my goal on this night is to beat pope./
i need revenge
_________________

http://www.youtube.com/user/J053PHGHvideo

**Slowhand** · Joined: 21 Sep 2006 Posts: 625 Location: Lombard, Illinois

My goal is to lose by less than 200K... to Menzer. I got a feeling everyone else is better now except me.

And just so ya all laugh and get it out of yer friggin systems......
X vox B Bop FC - check
X guitar - keep missing 1 note and an extra random strum = 300 points off the gold star, no FC (OK I tried it like 4 times)
X drums - don't remember, FC doubtful.

With my never play a song more than 5 times rule, I'm screwed.

_________________

goals = mediocrity + 1 on all levels
*goal achieved!*
Guitarist for Heaven's Wrath
Vocal Stylings for Throat Punch
PSN - jaypen123
GH3 and RB community - Slowhand123

**J053PHTH3GR34T** · Joined: 28 Nov 2007 Posts: 547 Location: eating your soul

lol word.
how about serges?
is he coming or anything?
_________________

http://www.youtube.com/user/J053PHGHvideo

**Slowhand** · Joined: 21 Sep 2006 Posts: 625 Location: Lombard, Illinois

Serges is a definately maybe. I think he'd like to come by, after all it was his show that was the genesis of this. Cliff has mentioned he spoke with him about it and I pm'ed him awhile ago.

He works evenings for a living. Alot. If he can arrange time out, he might show. I hope to talk with him in the coming weeks and I'll try to shame him into coming.

Still no reply-reply-reply from Sarm. And hopefully everyone can still make it, and hopefully my new drums don't crap out by then, and I still suck at this, and that is all.
_________________

goals = mediocrity + 1 on all levels
*goal achieved!*
Guitarist for Heaven's Wrath
Vocal Stylings for Throat Punch
PSN - jaypen123
GH3 and RB community - Slowhand123

**SArmstr0ng** · Joined: 16 Feb 2006 Posts: 468 Location: Chicago, IL

I'm still unaware if I'm available that day because of many factors:

- Could be my move-in date to my new house
- Could be having a medical procedure that day (not too likely, but still)
- Could be beaten by a Youtuber and left to die in an alley for not putting up a new movie since January

As we get closer to the date, I'll definitely let you know. But I absolutely want to come to this.
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"Didn't need no welfare state.
Everybody pulled his weight.
Gee our old LaSalle ran great...
THOSE WERE THE DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYS!!!"