A website about RPGs...hugely entertaining.

**SilverSwift** · Joined: 09 Mar 2007 Posts: 2057

Hopefully this is in the right forum (as it's about a game genre :P); some of you might've seen it before, but for those who haven't:

The Grand List of Console RPG Cliches!

Just have a read...anybody who plays RPGs will be able to relate to some stuff in the list.

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emptyset wrote:

I should ban you all and never look back.

**bcruise** · Joined: 30 Oct 2006 Posts: 286 Location: Waynesville, MO

I've seen it before, but it's still funny as hell (and most of it is true!)

My favorites are still

#54 - I Don't Like Gears Or Fighting
There are always giant robots. Always.

#153 - "Mommy, why didn't they just use a Phoenix Down on Aeris?"
Don't expect battle mechanics to carry over into the "real world."

**Armageddon** · Joined: 05 Jun 2006 Posts: 3006 Location: Durham, NH

Wow, great read. #62, #69-73, #86, and #190 FTW! I haven't read 100-189, but I plan on it. Thanks.
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**krimsunmunkeys** · Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2007 11:39 pm Post subject:

I read the entire list a long time ago, and found it a hilarious read. I actually had the entire thing printed out, but I don't know what I did with it.

Yes, it's a definite must-read for any RPG fan.

**Ensiferous3** · Joined: 02 Jul 2006 Posts: 1629

I remember way back when FF10 came out and they scrambled to add new cliches because of it

!

**SynysterGates** · Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2007 5:07 am Post subject:

Thanks for the link. That was hilarious

I like:

#27 Nostradamus Rule: All legends are 100% accurate. All rumors are entirely factual. All prophecies will come true, and not just someday but almost immediately.

#41. George W. Bush Geography Simplification Initiative :
Every country in the world will have exactly one town in it, except for the country you start out in, which will have three.

#42 Fodor's Guide Rule:In the course of your adventure you will visit one desert city, one port town, one mining town, one casino city, one magic city (usually flying), one medieval castle kingdom, one clockwork city, one martial arts-based community, one thieves' slum, one lost city and one sci-fi utopia. On the way you'll also get a chance to see the cave with rocks that glow from a natural energy source, the village populated with nonhuman characters, the peaceful village where everyone knows the latest news about the hero's quest (see Guy in the Street Rule), the snow village, the magical forest/lake/mountain, the shop in the middle of nowhere, the fantastic-looking place with lots of FMVs just showing your entrance, the subtropical jungle island populated by friendly natives, the annoying cavern maze, and a place -- any place -- that was destroyed in some past disaster.

They're all so true

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As he's dying in dreams
I hope you're choking in your sleep
Just try and breathe and justice push the pillow down
- Fear Before The March Of Flames

**JHetfield0816** · Joined: 10 Apr 2006 Posts: 2230 Location: New Jersey

It's funny cause it's true.

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"well I guess it's better than reapers and thingys"- Riyunoa

"The resistance that you fight physically in the gym and the resistance that you fight in life can only build a strong character." - Arnold

**suspectfenster** · Joined: 20 Oct 2006 Posts: 1771 Location: Portland, OR

I'm not sure if I love Garrett's principle because it's my name or because it's so damn funny.

Garrett's Principle
Let's not mince words: you're a thief. You can walk into just about anybody's house like the door wasn't even locked. You just barge right in and start looking for stuff. Anything you can find that's not nailed down is yours to keep. You will often walk into perfect strangers' houses, lift their precious artifacts, and then chat with them like you were old neighbors as you head back out with their family heirlooms under your arm. Unfortunately, this never works in stores.
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Play TF2? No? What the hell is wrong with you.

**wuLFe** · Joined: 18 Aug 2006 Posts: 2679 Location: Richmond, IN

Yeah - I was so surprised in the Elder Scrolls games when I'd saunter in to somebodys dwelling, pick up their BRACERS OF GODLINESS +715, and all of a sudden, the town guards would be on me...

"WTF - CONSEQUENCES - IN AN RPG - NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

**bcruise** · Joined: 30 Oct 2006 Posts: 286 Location: Waynesville, MO

**tommy2000** · Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2007 10:23 pm Post subject:

**JHetfield0816** · Joined: 10 Apr 2006 Posts: 2230 Location: New Jersey

**SThorpe** · Joined: 09 Aug 2006 Posts: 2500

# Weapon Rule
There's always a hidden creature who is much harder to defeat than even the ultimate bad guy's final, world-annihilating form. It's lucky for all concerned that this hidden creature prefers to stay hidden rather than trying to take over the world himself, because he'd probably win. As a corollary, whatever reward you get for killing the hidden creature is basically worthless because by the time you're powerful enough to defeat him, you don't need it any more.

I got really pissed off whilst reading that last night, it reminded me how a kept dieing on the first Demonolith (it probably isn't called that in this game but whatever) in XII

Kinda the same, I want that sword it's hiding, but I'm not strong enough (meaning = I bloody need it). ¬_¬

**bcruise** · Joined: 30 Oct 2006 Posts: 286 Location: Waynesville, MO